It didn't start off too well, as there was a major mix-up with the water, which was supposed to be in an ice-bag and brought on board the coach. Passengers were being told when they congregated in the ballroom that water would be on board, yet the escorts and guide were being told (not sure by whom) that passengers would be picking up their own water and bringing it with them. Consequently, you imagine my horror, as I welcomed people aboard and took their tickets, and reassured some very agitated passengers that I'd sort things out for them in a minute or two, only to find when I opened the ice bag, a grand total of 3 small bottles of water!!! I looked at my co-escort (who is a philippino crew member) and he looked at me, and our expressions must have said "we're going to get lynched!". Most important from there onwards was the need to keep the miniscule water supplies as quiet as possible - hopefully until we reached our first rest stop, approximately an hour and a half into the trip. Add to this a growing panic amongst some passengers that there simply wasn't enough room on board to get comfortable - some were very elderly and one or two were lust large - which meant shifting a few of them around early on and asking some who had dropped their seat-backs back to kindly lift them again as the people behind were being crushed - and the prospect of a three hour coach journey to Cairo seemed to abhorent to contemplate!

Anyway, the good news is that everybody just seemed to accept their fate and settle into the trip, which turned out to be not so bad after all. Our guide, Khaled and driver Essam, were brilliant. Khaled was both easy to understand, clear when speaking, and very humourous and entertaining with it. We also had a police escort with us (didn't catch his name) throughout the day to ensure things went smoothly.

Before we got to our main destination, out attention was drawn to the many tall, conical tower-like structures that seem to be everywhere - seems these are pigeon lofts - eveyone breeds them apparently, not for racing but for eating!!

Cairo is a mad city - even though it was Sunday, the roads were busy. Khaled told us that there is a serious housing problem in Cairo - everyone wants to live there, since this is where the main emplyment is - but many buildings are curiously unfinished, with corrigated iron and slapdash housing squeezed in between them. With washing hanging out of some of the poky little structures, it was amazing that anyone could actually live in such squallor - but of course they do - we don't know we're born! There's a lot of poverty in Cairo. Apparently, the unfinished nature of mnay of the buildings is because anyone living in a building that is unfinished doesn't pay taxes on it.

Our first major destination was the Egytian Museum, which was large and fascinating and had tons of mummy stuff, old papyrus' and the Tutenkhamun collection. It was very busy, and with several groups of people just like ours, with guides all speaking in different languages, at any given moment, the noise rather resembled the stock exchange. The security just to get into the place was staggering. Once everyone had been issued with their tickets, we had to pass all bags and belongings through an airport-style x-ray machine-thing and then be frisked. We'd been told that, under absolutely no circumstanecs are cameras of any sort allowed into the building, so we had to leave all such equipment on the coach. After our first x-ray and pat-down at the main gate we were then subjected to yet another one of each as we entered the building - bizarre!

We had approximately one hour and a quarter in the museum. The job of keeping everyone together and not losing enyone, and making sure that everyone gets back on the coach at the appointed time is the main job of tour escorts - keeping an eye on stragglers and slow-moes at the back. Timing is crucial to a tour like this, since any setback has a knock-on effect later on - and with another 3-hour journey back to Alexandria at the end of the day, there is little flexibility.

Next came a lavish pick-your-own buffet in one of Cairo's poshest establisments, The Meridian, followed by the star attraction - The Pyramids.

Our Pyramids stop came in two parts. First we stopped right at the foot of the biggest one there (there are three big ones and several small ones in total), where we were given free reign to wander at will, take photographs and dodge the blokes on camels offering camel rides and the opprtunity to photograph them for a fee. Not only that, there tons of irritating people thrusting postcards, bookmarks, small scale pyramids and effigies (in fact all sorts of tat!) at you in the hope of taking your money. This was almost as irritating as the blokes that stand in all the public toilets there - I got quite hacked off with going to the loo and having a chap thrust a handful of tissues at you after you've been, and washed your hands, then show you his palm and ask for money. I got fed up of saying, no, I didn't have any money (and wanted to add, "and I didn't ask you to give me a tissue!!") This is EVERYWHERE - even in the posh Meridian Hotel!

The second part of the Pyramids stop was a short ride down the hill to where the Sphinx sits, posing quite majestically with the pyramids in the background - the perfect photo opportunity! Of course, throughout all this, there are literally thousands of tourists milling around, taking photographs and dodging the sellers. Above it all, however, there they are - the great pointy things - one of the seven wonders of the world - and awesome they are indeed. Absolutely well worth the visit!

After this, we were taken to one of the many Papyrus places in Cairo, where the process of making the ancient paper was explained to us, followed by the big-sell. With little time left, we shuffled everyone back on board for a final short trip back to the Pyramids and the impressive Sound and Light show (no video cameras allowed, but still photography permitted). Here, you sit back and are treated to the story of the Pyramids - images are projected on a wall of one of the temples by the sphinx, and several english narrators tell the story to a musical accompaniment, whilst the Pyramids themselves are illuminated in synch with the show - First they will be red, which slowly changes to green, then parts of the site are lit at different points and with different colour combinations - you get the idea. All very impressive and informative, and the sound quality was superlative! At an hour and a quarter, though, I must say I found it a little on the long side. We were sat outside on a very cold December desert night, and it had been a long day. After the first half an hour, I started to drift in and out and missed much of what I was being told, and the novelty of lighting the pyramids and sphinx up in lots of different ways actually started to wear off a little for me (not everyone, I must say - many remained transfixed throughout). Occasionally, I could help comparing lighting these great, ancient monuments in this way to putting King Kong on the Broadway stage - it all seemed just slighty wrong somehow.

Anyway - you'll be pleased to know we made it back to the ship on time (10:15), in time for the back end of the Christmas carol concert and Midnight Mass.

It's now 12:30 on Christmas Day, and it's time now for me to go and get me glad-rags on for Christmas Lunch. I've produced a pencil sketch of each of my dining table companions as a chrimbo prezzie - hope they like them (I'll remind them before they open them that IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS).

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M E R R Y C H R I S T M A S

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