The tour was a short one - billed as a one and a half hour excursion, but actually stretched to 2 hours - starting with a 10-minute photo stop at Europa Point, which has a lighthouse and not much else except a stunning view of 'The Rock' and, on a clear day, Northern Africa across the sea.

Next we drove up to St. Peter's Cave, which is a stunning show cave, large in size and filled with some of the most glorious stalagtite and stalagmite formations (Caz'll love these photos). Also, built into the largest chambers, is an auditorium! It's all very well presented, and I was pleasantly surprised. Only because you get to think you know what a cave is going to look like, and think that once you've seen one you've pretty much seen them all - not so.

Finally, we saw the apes. By far the star attraction are the Barbary Apes, approximately 300 of which live wild there, and boy are they savvy! Signs are posted throughout Gibraltar reminding visitors that the apes are wild animals that can, and will, bite and should not be touched or fed (for which there is a £500 fine). They pose like you'd never believe! They also make the occasional snatch at handbags or shoulder-bags (it happened to one lady there), and wait for any opportunity, if they're given it, to get inside tour coaches. Our guide told us that if they get inside a coach, they're through bags and belongings faster than customs! But they are so CUUUTE!! A chap there, selling tacky little pieces of genuine pieces of Gibraltar Rock, with awful ape models stuck to them professed to know all the apes and their names. William, he kept insisting, was the oldest one there, who sat looking at us completely noncholantly and impassive, and he kept asking passengers if they would lilke to pose for a photograph with William on their shoulders. Since everyone had already seen what happens when a monkey perches on your shoulders none were keen. By the exit / gift shop of St. Peter's Cave, a tour escort on one of the other coaches, much to her surprise, had an ape invite itself onto her shoulders. As other passengers stood and took photos of the event, the poor lass had to stand the indignity of having the ape slowly (not harshly, but mockingly) slapping her on the side of her face. When one of the drivers finally rescued her from the clutches of this audacious torment, she seemed in shock, and all she could say was that she could still smell it on her!

Gibraltar has an interesting history, and relics from the past are much in abundance. An old moorish temple, old city walls and several wartime structures were all pointed out by the guide as we headed back towards the ship. Some passengers chose to get off in town, from a where a shuttle service would be ferrying people back and forth throughout the day, until all-aboard time at 3:30 today (quite early actually; we're setting sail for Lisbon at 1600 hours - the very last stop on this Christmas in the Mediterranean Cruise).

I was going to go into town to try and find an internet cafe to post a new photo, but I've changed my mind - lunch is coming up, and I have stuff to prepare for my last two workshops (Friday and Saturday - at least I'm assuming there'll be one on Saturday - packing day), and the hassle of getting into town is just too much.

I've had lots of pats on the back and very nice comments from passengers and crew regarding my performance yesterday. Roy, the Stage Manager, shook my hand vigorously last night in the Preview Bar, praised me for what I did and asked if I'd like to do a late-night spot for him in The Preview. I said I'd love to, but didn't have a guitar - it would be a bit presumtious to assume that I could again use the one I'd borrowed for the show. Roy winked and said he'd try and get me one, so we shall see!

I know several people are wondering about romance on the ship, is there much of it? Is there a lot of cabin-hopping, canoodling, and general mingling, if you know what I mean. I would just like to clarify my own position on this, and say that I personally never came on board ship with the intention of looking for romance. It wasn't, even in the slightest way, a factor governing my decision to accept the job. My personal circumstances are more than taken care of, and I look forward to seeing Caroline imediately after the end of cruise. Just thought I'd clear that up, to save any misunderstandings.

Our dining table asked Resty (but we call him Rusty), our wine waiter, what sort of things took place behind closed doors (that he could tell us about). There is a huge population of young Philipinos on board, most of whom are married and send their wages home whilst they're working on board ship. He did say though that, for some of them, they considered themselves married when they were home, and 'unmarried' when on board ship. Nuff said.

There are a large number of single passengers, all of whom have been encouraged to attend occasion 'singles' functions, in the hope of helping them to forge new frienships. Memorably, a couple of weeks ago, they held a grand singles dinner, which apparently was a complete riot. John, off my table, who falls into this category, went to it, and reported that the organisation was a total shambles. Apparently, what they did was provide a 6-course meal, where all participants changed tables for each course. Now, you can imagine this, can't you? No sooner have you finished your appetiser than you're uprooted to a fresh new table where you'd be served soup. Not only that, you're meant to introduce yourself and make friends with each of your fellow eaters before finishing and moving on to the next course and a whole new set of friends (and what happens if you don't want soup? It means you have to sit there quietly while everyone else troughs, waiting for the next thrilling installment. The funny thing about this is that they had a bigger turnout for the dinner than was expected, with over 150 people turning up, and the game of musical-tables became farcical and so it was generally accepted that the enterprise was a spectacular failure. Whether or not any lasting friendships came out of it, no-one knows. It's like Speed-eating!!

There are many characters on board ship who have become infamous for various things. Don, who would make a brilliant Fast Show character (30 years man-and-boy), comes up to the Preview Bar every night and hassles to have a play on the piano, each time the Starlight Trio have stopped for a break. He's sometimes in a wheelchair and sometimes not, but he's funny because he always likes to tell you he's 'A Professional' (which I'm sure he is) and when Roy, the stage-manager in charge there politely removes him from the piano after he's craftily snook a couple of tunes in, he'll come and apologise to everyone that he won't be able to play tonight (like we're really upset about that), but he is a professional, and will play for us again as soon as possible. Another character is one lady who has become known as 'The Black Widow'. She's been the talk of pretty much every table throughout the ship for being a major pain-in-the-****. She's disrupted several performances in the Ballroom by making inappropriate noises, and has upset Elizabeth on our table by making personal comments to her on several occasions (told her that she dresses wrong and doesn't blow her nose properly - seriously - we're outraged at her, because it amounts to bullying). But her greatest achievement, and the one that has earned her the title 'The Black Widow', is the way she's accosted several gentlemen, including our very own John. I was there on one of the first nights when she collared him and invited herself to sit with us in the Ballroom one night. She grabbed my arm and tried to engage my attention several times, but I simply wasn't having it - the woman's a monster. Poor old John, however, found he was being effectively stalked by her! She'd pounce on him, sit very close to him, and would say to him "don't leave me", in a slightly threatening voice - definitely a bunny boiler! On one occasion, I whisked him away to the South Cape Bar, away from her, from a drink, in the hopes that if she thought he was gay, that might dissuade her. But the harrasing continued on unabated, until eventually, John politely told to her slope off and upset some other poor bugger, and I think he's more or less free of her, yet her shadowy form, still to be seen lurking about the ship, is guaranteed to bring the poor bloke out in a sweat.

A few passengers do seem to have coupled up over the weeks, but whether or not this is in a romantic way, it's very hard to tell. The general atmosphere, most of the time on board is convivial. Friendly. It certainly doesn't feel like there's an underbelly of unbridled lust and passion bubbling away just beneath the surface. Or maybe I'm just missing it. I'm not noted for my eagle-eyed observations, but I would have expected to see some snogging going off, or couples standing in the moonlight doing the Kate and Leonardo from Titanic thing at the pointy end. The passion seems to be reserved for food. At the end of every evening's entertainment in the Ballroom, Tanya, the Cruise Director asks if anyone is hungry (this is about 11pm, you understand), and the general muttering is always "No!". But, this is always follwed by an almighty stampede of Saga-louts fighting to be first at the late-night buffet in The Lido.

So is Saga, Sex and Games for the Aged? I don't see it myself. The cabins all seem to be quite well sound-proofed and I don't see any hickies (love-bites). It's all very civilised and proper. For single people, I reckon a Saga cruise is a great idea - you never have to feel you're alone; there's always someone to talk to, share a drink or a dance with, and if you want quiet time alone, then there's plenty of opportunity for that too. As far as crew, lecturers and entertainers are concerned, I would imagine it would be very difficult to forge long-term romantic relationships with anybody in this environemnet, which although self-contained and luxurious, is also very transitory. I had the pleasure of chatting to the comedian who entertained us last night (very late in the Preview Bar), and he pretty much goes from cruise to cruise on a permanent basis. He says you see lots of familiar faces, but they can be faces who you've seen on another ship, and it can be difficult to keep track of them. Seems to me to be a life where you're forever on the move.